Love marriage VS Arranged marriage

MANY people seem to think that Marriage is a Material Transaction, where a Boy or Girl strikes the Eye, is liked, and is brought home.

Just as We would discard a shoe that we did not like, so too are Partners Dumped!

To speak of Marriages being Made in Heaven sounds like Shoes made by the famous company, Bata, in India.

NO. Marriages have to be Made to Work. Each Person has to Give and Take. When One partner feels that the Other has peculiarities, Everybody has to remember that He/She has Peculiarities too.

*******

All that being So, found this post and liked the following Words in it Very Much. (Emphasis mine).

Love and attraction are two different things.

Love starts when the attraction begins to fade, when the people realise that the other person is not perfect but still they want to spend their life with them. Love is when you keep on falling for the same person each day and you tend to do anything to put a smile on their face. 🙂

Hearty Kudos to Kriti over this.

My small column of expression

We (youth) often have discussions regarding which format of marriage is better love or arranged. Some argue in the favor of love marriage and some in favor of arranged marriage.  I do not understand who put a VS between these two. According to me love and arranged marriages are not the Earth and the sky. These are just two different sides of the same coin. I’m not biased towards any particular format I’ve seen both of them turning out to be successful.

Living in a country like India, marriage is not just the union of two souls but also the union of two families. Our parents always want to see us happy. So they according to their own experiences they try to choose the best partners for us.  But the problem that lies here is even our parents do not know us completely (I would like to apologize if I’m…

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17 comments

  1. A very interesting debate! Personally I disagree with arranged marriage! I don’t think a person should be forced together to benefit a family, happiness is paramount. That being said it works for some and when it is not forced then I belive it can work. I personaly knew a girl who was forced into one against her wishes and that is not acceptable. On the flipside I know a friend who had a semi arrange marriage and 12 or so years later he’s still married with five kids.

    I guess it’s down to what you believe but all parties should believe it and when one is forced that is when I just find it wrong !!!

    Like

    • What you call love is actually just a Liking; it cannot be anything but that in the beginning. Infatuation is the word for it.

      There are plenty of elements involved.

      Adults actually ‘forcing’ marriage on their children to partners of the adults choice occurs only in rare cases.

      The young have to know the difference between Lust, Love, Infatuation, Puppy love, and Cheating, Scheming and Acting.

      They have to know that the partner is not already having a family and kids, how his/her character is, and so many other things.

      If the young are ready to take their chances, who is going to force them?

      Like

      • I can see where you coming from and kind of agree. But there has to be a liking as you say before anything else can develop. And for a parent to arrange a marriage with someone who they don’t really know say in a different country and expect their child to move and develop to love this person is wrong, I think. Everyone has the right to choose their own path and if you develop a liking then you should be able to investigate that. I know a few cases where marriage has most definitely been forced!

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      • I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. I know in many cases it can work. But here in the UK they have a special police dept for it, so it must be reasonably common it goes wrong. I just believe everyone an individual on their own spiritual path and when the crosses with the right person it must be followed. For some that takes longer me for instance only just feel spirituality I am ready for a bond at 35. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had failed relationships but I have learn and benefited from them all spiritually. Now I know I’ve found the one. Maybe I’m lucky and some people need guidance but that my perspective. Peace 🙂

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  2. An interesting discussion. Arranged marriages are a strange concept to me, but I can see that they may have some advantages. In a ‘love’ marriage, each side must learn to give and take. The initial lust does not survive as such, but a better feeling hopefully arrives with work and patience. We’ve been married over 40 years now, and I wouldn’t change my husband for anything!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank You for joining the discussion, my Dear Chris!

      Actually, the words ‘Arranged Marriage’ sound more terrible than they really are. And the belong more to the Orient than to the West.

      Modern trends aside, Life and Woman have always been held in Esteem in the West, contrary to that of the Orient. Not that ‘Lip Service’ is not paid to those here.

      Women, kept comparably Much Uneducated here, do not always make choices using their ‘heads.’ It is very much of Infatuations and things.

      And since, as I said, many men do not hold women in high regard here, the so called love, with a child before marriage practically throws a woman out of home.

      Marriages where the families of the bride and the groom find out at least something of the backgrounds of one another, provide more security for Women. Hence preferred.

      Not that all this works out all so well, of course!

      Like

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