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Very Good thoughts from a Young Lady. I add a few words to that:
According to what I have learnt, Marriages, though made in Heaven, is Not between two perfect people; nor between people who are ‘Perfectly suited’ for each other. This would be Evident when We see that Nobody is perfect on earth.
Imperfect as We are, We have to Bear and Support Each Other, and make the Family and the World Better.
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MANY people seem to think that Marriage is a Material Transaction, where a Boy or Girl strikes the Eye, is liked, and is brought home.
Just as We would discard a shoe that we did not like, so too are Partners Dumped!
To speak of Marriages being Made in Heaven sounds like Shoes made by the famous company, Bata, in India.
NO. Marriages have to be Made to Work. Each Person has to Give and Take. When One partner feels that the Other has peculiarities, Everybody has to remember that He/She has Peculiarities too.
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All that being So, found this post and liked the following Words in it Very Much. (Emphasis mine).
…
Love and attraction are two different things.
Love starts when the attraction begins to fade, when the people realise that the other person is not perfect but still they want to spend their life with them. Love is when you keep on falling for the same person each day and you tend to do anything to put a smile on their face. 🙂
Hearty Kudos to Kriti over this.
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We (youth) often have discussions regarding which format of marriage is better love or arranged. Some argue in the favor of love marriage and some in favor of arranged marriage. I do not understand who put a VS between these two. According to me love and arranged marriages are not the Earth and the sky. These are just two different sides of the same coin. I’m not biased towards any particular format I’ve seen both of them turning out to be successful.
Living in a country like India, marriage is not just the union of two souls but also the union of two families. Our parents always want to see us happy. So they according to their own experiences they try to choose the best partners for us. But the problem that lies here is even our parents do not know us completely (I would like to apologize if I’m…
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This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/
Her comments are in Red. Mine in Black.
I don’t think sex is saved for the wedding night anymore, is it?
That is the Horror of it all. It should not be Sex saved for the Wedding Night, but for the Person You are Wedded to.
Many people seem to have lost all Idea of Marriage. And they Avoid it for the following Reasons:
For many, mostly men, it is a matter of ‘Convenience,’ where the Woman does all the Work at Home, including Washing the Man’s Dirty Underwear, where the Wife becomes nothing more than a ‘Kept’ woman. Actually these sorts of men Absolutely Need a Solid Kick in the You-know-where.
And for Many it is a Burden. ‘Having’ to have Children, and ‘Having’ to look after them.
The Great reduction of Births in the West is not the result of a lack of interest in Sex. It is more of Fear and Abhorrence of Childbirth, and the Difficulties of Bringing up children, particularly on the part of the so-called Modern Woman.
It has to be kept in mind that I Know that there are enough Childbirths taking place, and that there are plenty of Happy and Settled families even in the West. Yet one will do well to observe the Ratio in this, say, some 50 years ago, and today.
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For the next article in this series, Please click here.
(Please read the last line; I consider it very important).
I wonder, I do, as to HOW people enter into marriage in the first place.
Did they enter into marriage without knowing that he is the type of person who would wash his car before greeting his bride?
Did he start saying: bitch, neurotic and whining baby ONLY after marriage? And ‘bitch’ only 78 times? Calculator went wrong.
When marriage seems to be only ‘the white satin dress so stiff and heavy, embroidered with pearls, it left deep red welts for 24 hours,’ what else to expect! Am Astonished that that is the part best remembered.
What happened to the ‘I do,’ to ‘Till Death do us part’ bit?
The West, SO desirous of ‘freedom,’ where Nobody will talk of Discipline, Self Control, Parental guidance… Why does it complain today?
When families arrange marriages, there is at least somebody who will ask, “What, fellow, what do you think you are doing?”
When things go wrong, there are supposed to be counsellors, guides, pastors… Never thought of approaching any of these?
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As for men like that, the sooner you get your jaw broken in a car crash, the better. you should not die, though. Live in pain.
Trying to Explain, a poem
How do you explain to outsiders what was bad about the marriage?
Take them down the aisle with you, make them wear the white satin dress so stiff and heavy, embroidered with pearls, it left deep red welts for 24 hours.
Was your first inkling when, on the way to the honeymoon bed, he had to stop to get the car washed? Next, take them with you to the hotel room where there was nothing, absolutely nothing left to talk about. Put on the black nightgown he requested and hunger for food if nothing else, order room service, you wanted a juicy cheeseburger, he even found fault in that. He had steak, rare. It was his wedding night, after all.
Don’t forget how his education was far superior to yours, he had worked harder for everything he possessed, including you. His mental health put you…
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Technology has been misused by mankind.
‘man’ has ‘used’ woman for doing a lot of work which he considered ‘small,’ beneath him, or things like that. But the example shows how ‘woman’ also has fallen into the trap of short-thinking.
Mankind seems to be forgetting that We are Social creatures, and that Marriage is More than producing children, that the Hunger for Companionship exists in Us, and that the Give and Take of Love is a Need.
By Kenneth Justice
~ At coffee this last week I ran into an old friend, “So how are the plans for the wedding going?” I asked, the last time I talked to my 30ish year old friend she had recently gotten engaged,
“No plans, I broke up with him last month” she said sorrowfully
To make a long story short, everything was going fairly well for the last few years she and her boyfriend were dating; they were financially well off, they got along with each of their families, and they had both achieved the proverbial ‘American dream’……but then her boyfriend proposed.
“Dude, almost immediately after the proposal I realized how final everything was going to be. I kept asking myself, ‘do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him?’ I love him and all, but to promise to be with…
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“What a Woman Needs is for Her Man to be there for her.” But Not just when she is feeling Low!
Actually, Man has the same Needs too!
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One has to Appreciate John Legend’s suggestions, like:
Appreciating her wisdom and advice,
Renewing One’s Marriage Vows periodically,
Telling Her that She is Beautiful, and Importantly,
Creating ‘Alone Times’ for her,
And Not only Saying nice words, but showing the Love in Action.*******
John says: “ Give your all to me, and I will give my all to you.” If We are going to talk about Love, We Love In Spite of Everything. He speaks of the marriage vows. Most probably he does even remember what he had said then.
Yes, Unfortunately, John leaves a Bitter After-taste in the Mouth. There is a thing called ‘Humility with a Hook.’ John’s compliments are actually of that kind; Barbed Ones.
His saying:
“I love all your imperfections,”
“What would I do without your smart mouth?” etc,Might sound whatever You want to call it, but they are Actually Put-Downs.
Said the Right way, in the Right place, like Your Bedroom, they would be indeed superb. But coming out in the Public like this, shows he has his very Shoe in his mouth. …Not to be Emulated.
Photo Credit: flickr.com
John Legend is an award winning American R&B Artist. His songs “All of me” dedicated to his wife and “You and I” have impacted the world of music since their release. Here I draw out real relationship lessons on how men can treat their ladies from the lyrics of those songs:
Always appreciate her wisdom and advice; when you heed your lady’s advice and it saves you a lot of troubles…please drop your ego and let her know without her help, whatever you achieved wouldn’t be possible. Or just as John Legend puts it; “What would I do without your smart mouth?”
When last did you renew your love or marriage vows?: follow John Legend make that commitment again, tell her: “ Give your all to me, and I will give my all to you”, “All of me loves all of you”
Every woman needs to know…
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lovehappinessandpeace 