Tag Archives: Sex

Whose Fault is It…

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The Question, as to Whose Fault it is When a Woman/Girl/Child gets Raped, is a Heart-wrenching one. …Came across these Very Frank words:

“What your wife, sister, daughter, or any other woman you care for is not telling you is that at least once in her life, She has been groped, pinched, touched without her choosing to ask explicitly for it. If she is lucky, it has happened only once or twice. If not, it has happened to her with an alarming rate of at least twice a day every day that she has stepped out of her home and sometimes inside her home.”

[Reference below. My thoughts on these make it into a regular post by itself, so am not re-blogging it.]

While I whole heartedly Agree with Shweta, the author, with those words above, I Differ from her and from Many, on Many points. Please do Not think that I intend to criticise Shweta. It is the General Mis-Conceptions that I want to address. Her words come very useful as quotes of the Prevailing mentality.

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THE BREASTS

She has written under ‘It’s shameful,’ that she had been told to keep her Breasts covered. From this Shweta has Mis-Understood that she, and All Women, are supposed to be Ashamed of their Breasts. Maybe Many Women think this way too.

At this point, let me share two Incidents.

1. Once, Many years ago indeed, when I was visiting the Villagers as their Parish Priest, accompanied by our Catechist, We had called out, been invited to enter, and found the Woman of the house pounding rice or something. As it was Sweaty business, she had left her Breasts Uncovered. There was Nothing Un-Usual in this. In that region, that was how things were.

Neither She nor my Catechist had been perturbed by that. But I, a young man at that time, had the hardest time trying NOT to stare! (She became aware of this and covered herself).

Point: Breasts are Nothing to be Ashamed about. ‘Somebody’ might have a difficulty, but the Breasts were not the Cause. The Catechist, in this case, the Woman herself, or the Thousands of Villagers who live/lived like that, did not have any difficulty. It is how Anybody ‘Takes’ different things.

2. In this second incident, which had happened Years earlier, when I had been in the Indian Railways, I had noticed a policeman poking at a Woman sleeping on the Railway platform and went a bit closer to look. She was a Labourer by the look of things, and was in deep sleep. Her Breasts were partially exposed, and the policeman was toying with them with his long baton, known as the ‘Lathi.’ Not satisfied with that, he pushed the end of his Lathi at her Crotch, at which she turned over, and I had also approached a little too close for the comfort of the policeman, he simply sauntered away.

Point: Breasts are Nothing to be Ashamed about. If anything, they are Beautiful. And they Attract the Male’s Attention. As do Other Sexual Organs of the Female. We have to Remember that the Sexual parts of the Male Attract the Female’s attention too! But there is Nothing to be Ashamed about, Nor Anything Faulty in all this.

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Men’s Looks, Attention and Mind simply ‘Go‘ towards the Woman’s Body and Body parts. And-the-Same-is-True-with-Women.

To Deny the above would be Hypocritical and Dis-Honest. It is Absolutely Normal for a Man to have an Erection in the presence of an Attractive Woman, and for the Woman to have Corresponding stirring in similar circumstances. [This is what We deny! That it works both ways.]

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Ok, next question: Whose fault is that?! …….I shall ask You some other queries, and then YOU can give the answer to the first one in this para.

Sun flower

  • The Sunflower keeps turning towards the Sun. Whose fault is it, the Sun’s or the Flower’s? (Image courtesy: rsc.org)
  • The South pole of the Magnet is attracted To and By the North one. It is Not just an attraction; if unhindered, the two would meet, with violence! Ok, Whose fault is it?
  • Sodium, in coming into contact with Water, bursts into flame. Whose fault in this one? I could go on and on, could I not? 🙂

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Man Will be Attracted towards the Woman and Her Body, and Vice Versa. That is Nobody’s fault, and there is Nothing Wrong in it.

Woman, in these cases, stops herself with ‘Drinking him in with her eyes,’ if that. The Problem arises when We find at least Some men taking what We can call ‘liberties,’ or even going far beyond it.

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Let us go back to our original question. The Answer to that is that the Fault lies in Improper Upbringing.

Mothers, most of the time, Stop with telling their daughters to ‘Cover their Breasts.’ (St. Paul told them to Cover their Heads, an Euphemism for the same thing, and what trouble that landed him in!). We cannot blame the Mothers for not having taught their Daughters better. Communication is Not an Easy skill. Think of Dad’s trying to teach their Sons about the Birds and the Bees!

MOTHERS Failed, Through the Ages, to teach their Daughters that:

There Are, and Will be, at least Some men who will Not hold themselves back; And that These sorts of men Will attack.

Every railway station, bus stand and such Will have their Share of Pickpockets. Similarly,

Every Society Will have its Lechers and Low-Life.

They will be Just a few, but they Will be there. And they Will be the ones to Cause the Trouble. Just as We Guard Ourselves against Pickpockets, so too must We protect Ourselves from Giving Chances to these Low-Lives.

And MEN will attack, as they come out with No Burden after the incident. Taking the Geographical conditions of India, pregnancies can occur with Just One act. But it will be the Woman who will be carrying the Child. Thus We see that SOME men, IF they get the chance, WILL force themselves on any Woman they can; whether she is 90 or just 5 years old.

PARENTS, and SOCIETY  on the whole, Failed…

We have to Examine whether We have Told our Young Men, Often enough, Repeatedlyenough, Strongly Enough and Insistently enough. that they, being the Physically Stronger sex, have a Duty to Protect Weak, Women and Girls primarily among them.

The JUDICIAL SYSTEM has Failed…

If You are Sailing, and You find a Hole in Your Boat, You Plug it, Immediately. You don’t take 18 years to do that.

I find what I call the Judicial System, consisting of the Judges, the Law Books and What Not, as a Failure. From the Godhra case to jayalalitha’s amassing Disproportionate wealth, from the 71 year old Nun Gang raped in West Bengal to the Honest Collector Killed in Karnataka, from Civil cases to the Criminal, all these and more have just Made me Lose my Faith in the Judicial System.

We Ask Who is at Fault. All the above are at Fault. We are at Fault.

AND THEY WILL CHANGE ONLY IF WE TAKE THEM UP AND SHAKE THEM UP. 

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  • If I go about with my Wallet showing, and Easy to Pick, Can I Blame the Pickpocket? He has his ‘Weakness,’ which is Trying to Earn a Living the Easy Way.
  • If I failed to Lock the Windows at Night, can I blame the Thief for his entry into my house? Is it Not My fault?
  • In Chess, Boxing or any Other Sport, if an ‘Opening’ is given to the Opponent, Are We going to find fault with him?
  • If I leave Expensive Items in my Car, Leave the Door Open, and Leave the Keys in the Ignition, WITH a big notice saying: “Thieves and Such are NOT to take any of these things,” AND expect that that would happen, it Simply means that I am a Mental Case.

In a country like India where a mere Smile means a Come On, To go out in All sorts of Funny (read Sexy) dresses aping the West, WILL BE TAKEN AS AN INVITATION. Young People in particular should know National Cultures, too.

The Sexual Attraction that the Male and the Female have, is something built in, a Natural. We cannot go around finding Fault with these things. But it IS My Fault if I do not protect my Money, Reasonably Enough, from Pickpockets around me.

Wallet

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Reference to Shweta’s article:

homeofanomad.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/what-your-wife-sister-daughter-or-any-other-woman-you-care-for-is-not-telling-you-and-what-does-she-want-to-hear/

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07 But is Sex the main thing in Life?

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

I was watching the movie ‘Assassination games’ last night. There comes a statement in it that is Absolutely Noteworthy. I shall make a Question out of it.

After I die, How many will Light a Candle for me?

If We keep this One question in mind, am sure there would be Significant changes in our life.

06 Sex, Matched bra’s and panties

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

High Sexual Satisfaction does not come from paraphernalia like clothes, implements or equipment’s, or from techniques, etc. A Sloppy attitude or approach does not help. Of Course. Just like in anything else.

Matched bra’s and panties might help in creating the mood. But these are more the Sales pitches of Lingerie manufacturers. How long is one going to gaze at them?

If One is Desired and Loved, that leads to Satisfaction. If a person has All his/her Thoughts, Dreams, Hungers and Energies for his/her Partner, that leads to Satisfaction.

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For the next article in this series, Please click here.

05 The First Sex saved for the Wedding night?

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

Her comments are in Red. Mine in Black.

I don’t think sex is saved for the wedding night anymore, is it?

That is the Horror of it all. It should not be Sex saved for the Wedding Night, but for the Person You are Wedded to.

Many people seem to have lost all Idea of Marriage. And they Avoid it for the following Reasons:

For many, mostly men, it is a matter of ‘Convenience,’ where the Woman does all the Work at Home, including Washing the Man’s Dirty Underwear, where the Wife becomes nothing more than a ‘Kept’ woman. Actually these sorts of men Absolutely Need a Solid Kick in the You-know-where.

And for Many it is a Burden. ‘Having’ to have Children, and ‘Having’ to look after them.

The Great reduction of Births in the West is not the result of a lack of interest in Sex. It is more of Fear and Abhorrence of Childbirth, and the Difficulties of Bringing up children, particularly on the part of the so-called Modern Woman.

It has to be kept in mind that I Know that there are enough Childbirths taking place, and that there are plenty of Happy and Settled families even in the West. Yet one will do well to observe the Ratio in this, say, some 50 years ago, and today.

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For the next article in this series, Please click here.

04 Sex, and Rituals

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

Her comments are in Red. Mine in Black.

The women might now wear pretty panties or bra’s with lace, but there must be some ritual that they did before you got married that you miss. Cause now I’m curious to hear what it is that women do in India for the first night their giving themselves to their lover.

I am at a loss to understand about any ‘ritual’ one goes through before getting married, that too, sexual ones. Foreplay in Sex one can understand. But ‘rituals?’ There you have me.

[I have added this part as I hope that some Reader could and would Enlighten Us! Please Feel Free to do so.]

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For the next article in this series, Please click here.

03 Sex, and the Ultimate Orgasms

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

Her comments are in Red. Mine in Black.

That excitement of getting ready for a night of romance ending with fabulous sex and the ultimate orgasm.

Let us come to your ‘Ultimate’ orgasm part now. It would seem that one is not satisfied with one’s sexual life, and is searching for a better one. To be Pitied.

I would say that 90% of Mankind, not just in India, is very well satisfied with their Sexual Life. And it is not just a question of ‘Climaxes.’ Sex is More than that.

If one were to search for ‘ultimate orgasms,’ one could migrate to certain countries. One could even ‘Keep’ migrating. I would be interested to know the ‘condition’ of the person after a scant 5 years! That would Not just end all sexual life, but ‘life’ in general! The ‘seeker’ would end up an Old ‘Maid,’ Literally.

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For the next article in this series, Please click here.

02 Sex, and Dating

This series on Sex is in Response to one Annie’s https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

Her comments are in Red. Mine in Black.

That’s great, No panties, bra’s, Wow, India is more advanced then I thought it was. But if it’s about the cost I can see that. The point of Matching the panties and pretty bra’s is to take care of yourself like u did when you were dating. To wear some make up and not just grab that old pair of panties and non matching bra. To take the time to think about what your partner would like to see you in.

My Dear S, Thank You for the comment.

It would seem that You have Not been much inside my Site. As I have said there, I am a Sannyasi, a Catholic Priest, and as such a Celibate, by Choice. It is Not because I do not Appreciate Sex or because of any difficulties.

But People Share and Consult the Most Extraordinary things with people like me.

In India, Dating is Unknown, and is Not practised! Except in the Tribal belts of Central India. Even there, it does not take the form of ‘Dating.’

I have Never ‘Dated.’

I am also nearly 70 years old. I have Heard and Read about Dating. But Dating, some 40-50 years ago, did not ‘Automatically’ end in Sex. So there was No question of Matching the Bra and the Panties.

Dating gave one the Opportunity of Enjoying the Company/Companionship of a Woman/Girl, and Vice Versa, Coming to Know the Other Sex, etc.

The Idea of 13 year old’s going out on Dates and those things ending up with sex is Modern Foolishness.

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For the next article in this series, Please click here.

01 Some Posts on …Sex!

My writing on this subject might surprise some, but, For a Sannyasi, Every thing is Sacred, and Nothing is Taboo.

I try to Respond to those who Very Kindly give me their Time to Read my Posts, give me ‘Like’s,’ and Comment on my posts, of course.

One ‘Annie’ had given me some Like’s, so had visited her site: https://aedmonds315.wordpress.com/

There I found a post called: ‘Matched Bra’s and Panties.’ In my first comment in it, I wrote: ‘Being in India, would say that interest in sex is not a problem here at all. If anything, it is the other way around!’ …There is more there.

I felt the Need to write something detailed to her Responses. You will find them in the following posts, under:

02 Sex, and Dating

03 Sex, and the Ultimate Orgasms

04 Sex, and Rituals

05 The First Sex saved for the Wedding night?

06 Sex, Matched bra’s and panties

07 But is Sex the main thing in Life?

The CEO, and Passion!

Once, the Bored Car Company decided to change its CEO. After a Lot of Thought and all that, they chose Mr. Thebest. Now this person had come up from the ‘Ranks’ due to his hard work. And he still liked to work with his Own hands. He was Not Ashamed of doing the Smallest bits of work, either. Everybody clapped their hands, were full of awe of him, and called him Very Good.

If there was Any problem, it was that he did very little of CEO kind of things. But people did not mind that.

By the Way, I am NOT referring to Arvind Kejriwal. THIS man refused to dance to Other’s tunes, or rules laid down by Others, etc. He had set out the Change Stupid laws, and He proceeded with that.

Whereas in the case of Our CEO, this was not the case. Even he thought that the ‘laws’ of the company were Good.

Image

Image from: http://igloooftheuncanny.blogspot.in/2009/11/body-snatcher-1945.html

But the company gave him the boot after less than a week. Neither Mr. Thebest, NOR the people, could understand Why!

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We have Many of these Thebests, as CEO’s, or ceo’s, in posts big or small, but Responsible posts, nevertheless. One of the Biggest, as far as I know, did not put the garbage out. But he went to pay his hotel bills. Let him pay that. But HOW MUCH of Speaking did he do? About 5 cents worth.

Being a catholic, I shall speak of my church. It is perhaps the biggest as far as numbers are concerned, VERRRRY old, and so, WELLL Organized, and has Enough money. I have been to enough Check-ups, but no doctor told me that I am deaf. But I do not hear my Leader speak. If he is ‘mewing’ somewhere like a mouse, I am not satisfied.

They tell us, it is not sufficient to publish Your blog, and that We should Share it on Facebook and Twitter, etc. The church should have organized 24×7 Television Channels, the Same in Radio Stations, Newspapers and Periodicals in the Maximum number of languages, Spreading the Message of Love and Human Brotherhood.

When the nazi thing happened, the man had been Silent. Mewing, as I said, is not allowed. When Christian Nations and Catholic ones fought, (As in Ireland), had there been any Thunder? Christian Nations had invaded others and had practiced Cruelty. I remember Bosnia. Ukraine burns, and vatican sleeps.

To give You some recent examples, One bishop serves the Poor soup, and does that even personally, but does Very little Writing, except for Recipes! One Priest in Facebook kept ‘Poking’ me for a whole 7 months. We should appreciate this kind of zeal, of course.

One Young priest likes Traveling, and posts pictures from the places he has been fortunate enough to visit. I suppose he is helping out those who have not even seen pictures of interesting places. Haha. And Most priests and pastors seem to think that a ‘social’ site like Facebook means posting pictures of themselves, or, at the most, of various churches.

The Dalai Lama is more in the News, is Heard, because He Speaks. Indian ‘holy men’ speak, reach out, have TV channels and programmes. A lot of Other Christian Brethren do this. But from the catholic side, I have heard ‘of’ the vatican radio, …but who listens to radios now?

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In this day and age, the Idea of the Sacred Heart, Burning with Love for Us, might seem quite Outdated. But if Art is supposed to communicate, pictures of this kind should do so. After all, it represents Passionate Love.

It is Ok to have Love for something. But it is Better to Love Passionately. One HAS to Love like that. Would Sex without passion satisfy us?

Passionate Love for a priest, bishop and the pope would mean Empathizing with the People of God. Feeling their Pain in his ‘Stomach.’ And Speaking Out! A catholic priest gets a minimum of 7 years of scholastic training in the seminary.

Oh to find some who would be Ready to put their Necks on the Block, who would Dare to Speak out! Bishop Romero did that, and paid for it with his life. Is this what deters our present day clergy?

The AAP and the Drugs and Sex Cartels

For my Friends outside of India, I may have to inform that the AAP is a New political party, which has formed the govt in Delhi, though it is scarcely a Year Old! With the Elimination of Corruption as its Main Agenda, it has found Much Favour indeed. And Arvind Kejriwal is the Founder and Head of the party.

Just days ago, AAP’s Law minister, Somnath Bharti, in what has become the Usual way of the Party, and as the Kings of Old used to do, had gone on an Inspection tour. In a particular area of Delhi, upon complaints from the People there, it was found that a Brothel was being run there. Later, it was also found that Drug Trafficking was also taking place.

Upon this, the Minister called up the police and asked them to take action. The police dragged its feet to the tune of some 4 blessed hours, and even then, kept arguing, but did not take action.

The police seem to have presented Two objections: 1. The Law Minister of Delhi did not have Jurisdiction over the police force of Delhi, and 2. The law did not allow the police to enter into Women’s ‘abodes’ at night!

If the police said that, Very many people, including a goodly part of the media, have taken up the same arguments. It seems that the Law Minister had been ‘Very’ Insistent, as had been Arvind Kejriwal. These have even been called ‘Vigilantes!’

A certain section of the people, as well as, it seems, a large part of the media, are finding a lot of satisfaction in this criticism. Take, for instance, the Times Now TV channel. It asks: ‘Taking Activism too Far?’ Other channels are stronger in their language.

All this being so, I have some Questions:

1. Just What is Wrong is an Elected Minister asking the police for Action against those Running DRUGS or Prostitution Rings? Even now, as I write this, the Times Now channel, is criticizing the Delhi Law Minister’s insistence that the police just raid the premises. The channel is calling that ‘Ministers Ordering the policemen around.’ They are connecting it to the ‘Red beacon culture’ of the politicos!

What would have been Wrong if the police had carried out an examination of the premises? Is there NO difference between a Minister ordering a ‘Checking out’ and the ‘Red beacon culture?’

2. A. Non AAP ministers have been known to:

  • Shoot and Kill policemen!
  • Slap policemen, Hit them in such a way that Eye injuries occur,
  • Made policemen sit down on the ground at their feet,
  • Have policemen wiping their shoes, etc.

B. It is said that members of the Trinamool Congress, the ruling party in West Bengal, Gang Raped a 16 year old Twice, in Her House, and subsequently Burnt Her!

C. Members of Non AAP parties have been known to Pull out Guns, Beat up Attendants at Toll gates and Vandalize the Booths.

It is True that the media covered and reported these events.

But the people Highly Criticizing AAP and Arvind Kejriwal had Not even Opened their Mouths in the above instances.

WHY? It is Understandable that policemen will not want to comply because they receive their ‘cuts’ from the cartels, as do the politicos.

But WHY is such a large section of the public criticizing the AAP in this? Politically Motivated Criticism?

Also, just WHY is media criticizing an Attempt to clean up Sex and Drug cartels? Starved for news? One just wonders Why.