Tag Archives: Working Mothers

To All Working Mothers…

This article is the result of my going through a post, ‘From a mother to “Working Mother”…’ in the Blog of namratachoudhary …Namrata is a Great Girl. She Truly Loves her Son, and is So Proud of him that she has named him ‘Raunak,’ which means something like ‘The Brightness,’ in this case, of one’s life! I appreciate her posts. Yet in this instance, could not agree with her. As my comments, (like in this post!) would have been too long, and as WordPress suggests, I made it into a new one. I shall show the Quotes, or even Reworked quasi quotes from hers in Blue.

My Honest Suggestion: To Most Working Mothers… Don’t!

Why Most? Because, in just a few cases, She might be the Lone Parent, or the Lone Responsible Parent! As is many times the case in India, Men prove themselves to be the Weaker Sex, by Indulging in Drinks, Gambling and things, so that the Woman has to go to work if they have to Eat. To Them, I say, Sadly, Continue, with my Blessings.

mother n labourer es

Well, the source of the picture is In the picture, anyway!

Except for Cases of Necessity like these, in the other instances Most Women-with-Children Merely Like and Want to Go to Work. The ‘Reasons‘ they offer, in which their husbands join them, are:

I work For the Child, For his better future; so that the baby won’t have to suffer in the future, It’s for the baby’s sake, etc.

They also say that A professional life is important to them, etc.

That ‘The bulk of families can no longer afford to live on one source of income (husband),’ is actually a Lie. It is Just that We Want a Certain Material Standard of Life, which is a Sickness! In the olden days it was said like this: ‘The Jones have it,’ (So We must have it). And Where has it led Us?

Missing the baby’s first step, the first word, and he/she first calling her Ma, are NOT the Most important things.

Working mothers most often suffers mental as well as emotional stress, as they deal with the mental pressures from home as well as office. This may often deal to marital disturbances. Sometimes due to physical stress women starts shouting on her mates due to which their relationship has to suffer. In Spite of these You want to keep ‘working’ outside, Young Ladies? What could be Worse than Marital Disturbances?

‘People say that working women’s children does not have a connection/bond with their mom’s, but this is not true at all. There’s no better test than to ask the children. They know who their mom is — even the smallest babies respond to their mother’s scent, voice and presence. So it proves all.’ …Does it?

ONE of the Main reasons whence the Family has gone to the Dogs in the West is that Children have had their Mothers Part Time! They DO know who their Mom is. But let the Moms recognize that those same children have landed them in Old People’s Homes.

Modern Science tells Us that It is Necessary for the Child to be with the Parent for at least the First Six Years. Every College-Educated, Computer/Tablet-Competent, Blog-maintaining Gal Should know this.

In View of All this, My Dear Little Working Mothers, to Most of You my Honest Suggestion is: Don’t. Sure, the world will not take kindly to this. …Is it going to be Material Benefits/Junkets for Our Children, or Our Presence, for which they Yearn? Ask Your Child, Any Child. Their Answer would make You Rethink. Love to All.

Reference:

http://raunakofmylyf.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/from-a-mother-to-working-mother/

Never Surrender!

The topic: ‘Never Surrender,’ interested me. It was offered on the ‘Weekly Challenge’ of WordPress. …I find that I am one those who do not give up!

If ‘Never Surrender’ means Not Giving Up, the Never Say Die spirit, Bull-headedness (of the good sort!), etc, then I am on the Right Track. …Searching for a picture for this post, came across this dear Fellow! Surprising that for one so Tenacious, He looks so Affable! Just like Me! Haha.

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Image credit: http://piperbasenji.blogspot.in/2011/12/english-bulldogs.html

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WHY I AM SHARING THESE THOUGHTS:

Psychology says that 90% of Us are living Lives of Quiet Desperation! I am a Very Ordinary Human being. If I Can live a Life of Satisfaction, Without Giving up, then YOU CAN TOO!

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THE PAIN USED TO BE SO AGONIZING THAT I WANTED TO LIE DOWN BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD! 

Those who are familiar with India will know that the side of the road is Not at all the place to lie down! On the one hand, Traffic, being in fair speed, gets down there in order to allow other vehicles to pass. But More Importantly, the place is …Dirty.

This pain was coming to me particularly on the days when I had to go to nearby Erode; which I do once a month. As I had to catch a Bus from the town, some 2.5 kms from my place for that, I would just Carry on. This was at about 4.30 in the morning, so that there were no ‘Town-Buses’ at that time.

I used to Cross my arms on my chest, which seemed give just a little relief, keep taking deep breaths, and go on. And the Funny thing was, I found that after Boarding the Bus and Sitting down, my pains would go away. This last is a Significant point, which I shall take up later.

If I place the Intensity of the pain I had on the day of my Heart Attack at 8 on a scale of 10, then the pains I was getting on these trips was a goodly six, if not seven. The only thing is, on the day of the Attack, the pain seemed to ‘spread’ across my chest, ‘seizing’ me. Subsequent pains did not have these two symptoms.

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So my Example is going to be my Heart Problem, and How I manage with that. There are Deeper things on ‘Never Say Die’ in my life than this purely physical one of the Heart. I shall share those with You some Other day. 

Some 5 years ago I had a Heart Attack, and was admitted in the ICU for 5 days. Some 28,000 rupees went down the drain, though my good brother Joseph Ponnou had taken care of it. (I heard that my sister contributed too). That much is goodly money in India. Which all is to show that I got into Big Trouble.

I had been advised to continue my medications. But, according to one of my Bad habits, I stopped taking them after about 2 years. Two Years after my stopping them, my Pains started to appear again.

The second half of 2013 proved to be a Very Bad time for me, as far as my Health is concerned. I started getting Severe pains within 500 metres of walking. I had pains in the Inside of my left upper arm, the left wrist and at the base of two fingers in the same hand; as well as pain in the chest and at the base of my throat. That is what I have described in the section above.

I would say that I have had pains of this severity some 60 to a 100 times! If this sounds surprising, Please bear with me in this and carry on reading. This issue will come up again.

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This February, (2014), I decided to have a ‘Heart Check up.’ I took my old reports, and went to ‘Heart City,’ a heart specialty hospital in Trichy, (aka Tiruchirappally, situated in Tamil Nadu). There, the good doctor told me that:

I COULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK ANY DAY.

I asked him if I could not be cured by having higher doses of some medicines, etc. He said that Medicines could Only do ‘that’ much, and that ‘Mechanical’ means would have to be resorted to. He advised me an Immediate Angiogram.

I learnt that this would cost some 20,000 rupees. But the problem was, am sure they would have said next that I needed ‘Angioplasty,’ which, they inform me, would cost a goodly rs. 2,00,000. Which kind of money I do not have. Nor do I intend to ask anybody for it, Nor Accept it for this purpose, even if it were offered.

I decided to Carry On as I had been doing.

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My ‘Courage,’ if We are going to call it that, and my Attitude to Life, To Carry On, Never Surrender, got formed by the following:

  • St. Paul speaks of his sufferings in detail in 2 Corinthians 11:23-29. While doing this, He keeps calls himself a Fool and a Weak man. And he names this recounting of his sufferings as ‘boasting,’ in a Sarcastic sense. Paul was a Great Man, a Very Great Man. Long ago I Realized that he shared all this to let us know that, If He, a Human being, could go through all this, So Could We!
  • I Distinctly remember reading, many years ago, in the Reader’s Digest, that a man, living by himself quite far from other habitations, had a Heart Attack. He started Walking to the nearby town, which in fact was quite a distance away. When he reached the hospital, they found that he had suffered Multiple Heart Attacks on the Way.
  • I learnt that Surgeons Train themselves to ‘Ignore Fatigue’ while carrying out Long Operations. 

And thence I thought: If ‘they’ can do it, Why Can’t I?

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I am continuing with my Allopathy and now, and some Homeopathy medicines, under advise of my latter doctor. I am happy to say that my pains are greatly reduced now, rising to no more than 3 on my scale! At times I do feel breathless; and my heart labouring away, though!

I have mentioned that my severe pains would abate after reaching the spot (the bus stand), and after sitting down (as in the bus). After repeated experiences of this sort, have decided that my Arteries are ‘Opening Up’ by those walks and activities, and that once they have done that, the problem, at least for that day, goes away. I have come to believe Very much in this (my Theory of ‘Arteries Opening Up!) now. And it is Working for me, anyway!

So, When my pains start, I tell myself: ‘Okay, the Arteries are Opening Up,’ and carry on. It just becomes a question of bearing some pain for some time.

By the way, I learnt that ‘Reducing my Speed of Walk’ Lowered the amount of Pain. (All these are purely Empirical things. So You cannot go, ‘Medically,’ on my sharings! But I do hope and pray that these are of some Use to You).

So I do not bother about those pains, palpitations or breathlessness. This comes from my Many, Many, Many experiences with the pains; what I did at time, which was: Kept On going, and the End result, namely, the Cessation of my pain.

Two days ago, I had to go to the shops about 400 metres away, for a bit of purchase. Within 200 metres of walking, my Pains started! The level, happily, was a low 2. The pains lasted all the 400 metres. But once I reached the shop, more importantly, once I stopped walking, the pains went away, and did not return.

It All comes down to this: With Regard to our Many Activities, and our Condition, in my case, my Heart Problem,

WE DO IT BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE DONE!

AND WE KEEP ON DOING IT BECAUSE THE WORK IS NOT OVER YET! 

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At the Cost of Boring You, allow me to repeat that I learnt this Mindset from Others who have/had gone this way before me. So the Credit should go to them. And LOTS of Credit to those Unsung Heroes and particularly Heroines, as the one below, who Keep on Keeping On.

To say a few more words on Women like these, many men in India (as I am sure in Other countries, as well), become a Burden instead of Supporting their families. The Women take up the Challenge, and Make Life Go On, Never Surrendering!

Please believe me when I say that I have come across whole villages of men in Chhota Nagpur, as well as here in Thanneerpalli, my current village, – who are addicted to Drinking and Gambling, which latter is more common here in the South.

I Dedicate this my post to these Brave Women. And I wish You all Happy Times.

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Photo credit: As in image.

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PS: Wanted this to appear on WordPress’ ‘Weekly Challenge’ spot. But many things confuse me. I am not even able to decipher: ‘Comments are always closed on prompts. Pingbacks are enabled; if you link to the prompt post on your blog, your post will appear in the list below the prompt.’

What prompts? Where is the Prompt post on my blog? Etc! 😦

Though 66 in life, am just Two Months old in WordPress. Would be Grateful if some of You would enlighten me in these things. Thanks in Advance!