Strength

A Must read for those who have suffered sexual abuse.

To add, I would say altogether too many people might be victims. Remember, I speak as a catholic priest, privileged to have received the confidence of thousands.

I too have suffered that, particularly during my Youth; though Not of the Severe kind. By God’s Grace, it has not weighed down on me. I think one of the main reasons would have been my being on ‘Fire’ in my subject.

Having given some of my personal sharing, I would say Anna’s this article is, to repeat, A Must Read.

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Image courtesy of Our Side of Suicide http://www.oursideofsuicide.com/2016/05/09/weakness-vs-strength/

Some abuse victims want as adults only to forget their past.  That is an entirely legitimate response, and their prerogative.

By contrast, a surprising number of us want to use our suffering to ease the suffering of others.  We want to make something purposeful – even beautiful – out of what was painful and ugly.  That is a lofty goal which may or may not be achievable [1].

In either case, a few things should be clear.

A Strong Spirit

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Isaiah 40: 29).

Those who somehow survive abuse – physical, emotional, sexual abuse, and neglect or domestic violence – have a strong spirit.  This is true no matter the scars we carry forward from abuse or the fears abuse bequeathed to us. We would not otherwise be…

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On Water!

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Recently, met my Brother after about 3 years. Besides having had a good time with him, I noticed that his Health has improved quite a Lot indeed. He has had Heart problems, including Stents, Severe Gout, Vertigo and what not. Now, he is walking with a Spring in his step indeed.

(Joe during the visit)

He attributes it all to having switched to Drinking Alkalinized Water. You can learn more about it in: http://www.enagickangenwatermachine.com

Image from site.

Do Peruse. Regards. 🙂

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How to be Happy!

There have been times when I have been Devastated. Even Literally Weeping, over Unnecessary things! Yet, even in those days, Methods I have learnt Not only kept my Sanity, but even gave me a modicum of Happiness. That is the ‘How’ that I share with You today.

It was Precisely on the day to which I have provided the link above, that I had to travel, by bus, for about 10 hours, at night. The One positive thing about the journey was that I found an Empty Seat, that too next to a window, a Real Rarity, particularly when You board a bus On the Way. But there were Plenty of Negatives.

First of all there was my Mental situation. (See link). Then, in the bus, I found that the ‘window‘ on my side, – which in India is just a piece of Plexi-glass, was Missing! Well, Open to God’s Good Air, what! But No. It was the Rainy season! …There were no other seats available; I could have stood in the Aisle of the bus, which was already crowded(!), or I could have remained in my seat. I chose to remain, with the Sleet coming on to me in its Merry Way. On top of it, I found that it was Dripping Right on my head! (Many of Our Indian buses are Famous for such things!)

[This picture is from the Net, of course. And these people are taking it Very Coolly, (Apathetically?!), in the way of Indians. But this does not appear to have occurred, in this instance, during the Rainy season.]

To go back and to Repeat, That was my situation.

How I kept myself Happy.

It is Possible to Achieve Happiness, and to Remain Happy, even in the Midst of the Greatest of Trials.

I Started Recalling, as I had learnt, the Happy Memories of my Life. I shall recount a few for You just now.

When I was studying Theology in Ranchi, one evening, I suddenly noticed some Children rushing towards me. Upon reaching me, They Surrounded me, Embraced me clutching at my legs (they were of that size!), and were looking up at me with Happy Faces! They Thrust something into my Hands, …Flowers! I learnt that these my Little Sweethearts had been Keeping these Treasures, Just to give them to me, since morning, when they had started for School! They were Wilted and Crumpled. But it made them all the more Precious! I kept them under my glass (pad) on my table, for a very long time.

When my Nephew was about 8 years old, I had gone to visit them. At the end of the visit, my brother brought me by motor bike to the Bus Stand. My Nephew had accompanied us. After I got down, my brother started back, and my Nephew, in his turn, turned back towards me, holding on to my brother rather generous ‘waist’ with one hand, and Waving to me with his other, …Till – they – were – Out – of – Sight! I just stood there and Drank that Sight in.

This is the same Young man, Kenny, on a same kind of motor cycle!

When I had occasion to stay with my Uncle, my Sweet Little Niece, all of about 2 years old, would climb about 20 steepish stairs on her Fours and come to see me, many times a day. Oh, How She Loved me. To share the whole story, She Died within a few days of my leaving them. …Though this memory brings Tears to my eyes even as I type this, it is One of the Most Precious memories of Love in my Life. Horribly Bitter Sweet though this is, I Will recall it whenever I feel that there is No love in my life.

Happily, I have, and I had, even on that day, Enough Happy memories to last me the whole 10 hours!

Whatever Our Situation, We All, Do have Happy memories like these. Count Your Blessings, as they say. Recall Your Happy memories, Time and Again, whenever You feel You Need it. And this, my Dear Folks, is a Real Good Way to Be Happy. 🙂 For More on Happiness, here is a quick link. For Happiness over Pleasure, please click here. You could also search for the Word Happiness and find More posts. Here’s Wishing Happiness to You!

How to KEEP Exercising!

You know Writers put off writing till the last moment. I am one who would put off Exercising …Forever! But I have Overcome it. …This post could also be called:

EXERCISES FOR THE VERY SICK.

These are Not for those Who are bed-ridden, or who have been Advised Bed Rest by the doctors.

People write about having done this workout and that, or that they are just going to start Yoga, and what not. …Being a Heart patient, I had reached a condition where I could not walk 500 metres without Pain. You can read how I Overcame the Heart problem here. Part of my method involved Exercise. In this post, I share with You just How I manage to Keep Exercising, Walking my Minimum of 500 metres, where that same distance used to give me serious pains.

Photo from Internet. …Please let me share that I do not agree to putting animals or birds in cages.

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Within my compound, walking this way and that, I can walk about 35 metres at a stretch. Up and down that comes to 70. I decided to make at least 7 trips everyday. That would have made it the required 500 metres.

I had noted that walking at (what used to be) my Normal Pace was producing severe pains even within that distance. Hence, I walked it Very Slowly. Like, I took 24 minutes to cover that distance of half a kilometre! If I had walked at that speed outside the compound, I would have received peculiar looks.

The picture of the tiger is to show that Even Caged animals of this size, which are used to covering dozens of kilometres in a day, Keep themselves Fit, even in Cages. They achieve this by Pacing about. We can never complain that We lack the Time, the Equipment or the Space for Exercise. Remember the Tiger. If We decide to Exercise, We Can.

Even if I were in a 3 metre room, I would keep to this by Keeping Walking about for about 20 minutes or so, without going out.

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TO THOSE WHO ARE VERY SICK: if You can Walk to Your Toilet, You Can Do This! You might decide to start with a mere 100 metres. Please Do that without Any Hesitation or Embarrassment.

Round this up with some GENTLE Stretches towards the Back and the Front, and towards the Sides. Next come a few Twists to the Sides. You can do all these Standing. GENTLE is the Keyword here. Ten to Twenty Seconds per movement is Ample.

Remember that You might feel Giddy while bending Backwards. Watch out for this.

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I request You all to share this with those Friends who could be Very Sick like this. Please Do Share this VERBALLY with them!

How I Managed my Heart ‘Condition!’

I have shared about my Heart Condition, of Problem proportions, and How I was coping with that. There have been developments in that too. I had been taking Allopathic medicines, which I changed to Homeopathic, as these would be more Bio-friendly. These reduced the pains measurably; but they would not go away, and at times I was having severe ones.

When I went for another check up to a speciality hospital in Trichy recently, I was advised an Angiogram. This would cost me rs. 13,000 I was told. When I hear such estimates, I always think 20 thousand. Next, my friends told me that it does not end with that, but that it would lead to Angioplasty and/or Bypass surgery. And for that, they told me, I better have about 2 Lakhs (200 thousand) ready. O Boy, when I cannot even manage 20 thousand! Haha.

www.foxnews.com

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This is what I did.

I paid attention to what I had heard these doctors say: “It is a matter of How We manage Stress.”

I had always thought that I was the Coolest of persons :), but when I got down to it, I knew that I got Irritated Very Easily.

1. I decided that I would Not get Irritated.

I have not succeeded 100% in this, of course, but I have made Significant changes in my Lifestyle. I am not the wisest of men, nor do I have too many People Skills, but I have effected some Goodly changes As I wanted to be True to my Decision.

The Second that was that I decided to Exercise. This was not so Simple. Walking even half a kilometre was producing pains of a Very unpleasant sort. Was I stumped!

2. I decided that I would walk a Minimum of 500 metres Every day.

Happily, I have been able to keep this up too. This also has produced some Very Good differences. Like, the Pains are Appreciably Less, I have More Energy, and I Feel like Walking even more, and I AM walking More! It is keeping my Heart in Condition! How did/do I manage to walk this distance, when such a small one was producing Bad pains in me? That I want to share in a Short, next post. To go there, please click here. …And, I have noticed that I get pains if I eat even a little extra. So,

3. I have decided to be Very Strict with the Amount of my Food.

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All this is working. Have not had serious pains since I started all this. Considering my Output, more than 300 posts in about 225 days, I am doing Well. I have indeed ‘Managed’ my Heart Condition. So Can You!

Wish You All Love, Happiness and Peace.

Never Surrender!

The topic: ‘Never Surrender,’ interested me. It was offered on the ‘Weekly Challenge’ of WordPress. …I find that I am one those who do not give up!

If ‘Never Surrender’ means Not Giving Up, the Never Say Die spirit, Bull-headedness (of the good sort!), etc, then I am on the Right Track. …Searching for a picture for this post, came across this dear Fellow! Surprising that for one so Tenacious, He looks so Affable! Just like Me! Haha.

Image credit: http://piperbasenji.blogspot.in/2011/12/english-bulldogs.html

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WHY I AM SHARING THESE THOUGHTS:

Psychology says that 90% of Us are living Lives of Quiet Desperation! I am a Very Ordinary Human being. If I Can live a Life of Satisfaction, Without Giving up, then YOU CAN TOO!

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THE PAIN USED TO BE SO AGONIZING THAT I WANTED TO LIE DOWN BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD! 

Those who are familiar with India will know that the side of the road is Not at all the place to lie down! On the one hand, Traffic, being in fair speed, gets down there in order to allow other vehicles to pass. But More Importantly, the place is …Dirty.

This pain was coming to me particularly on the days when I had to go to nearby Erode; which I do once a month. As I had to catch a Bus from the town, some 2.5 kms from my place for that, I would just Carry on. This was at about 4.30 in the morning, so that there were no ‘Town-Buses’ at that time.

I used to Cross my arms on my chest, which seemed give just a little relief, keep taking deep breaths, and go on. And the Funny thing was, I found that after Boarding the Bus and Sitting down, my pains would go away. This last is a Significant point, which I shall take up later.

If I place the Intensity of the pain I had on the day of my Heart Attack at 8 on a scale of 10, then the pains I was getting on these trips was a goodly six, if not seven. The only thing is, on the day of the Attack, the pain seemed to ‘spread’ across my chest, ‘seizing’ me. Subsequent pains did not have these two symptoms.

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So my Example is going to be my Heart Problem, and How I manage with that. There are Deeper things on ‘Never Say Die’ in my life than this purely physical one of the Heart. I shall share those with You some Other day. 

Some 5 years ago I had a Heart Attack, and was admitted in the ICU for 5 days. Some 28,000 rupees went down the drain, though my good brother Joseph Ponnou had taken care of it. (I heard that my sister contributed too). That much is goodly money in India. Which all is to show that I got into Big Trouble.

I had been advised to continue my medications. But, according to one of my Bad habits, I stopped taking them after about 2 years. Two Years after my stopping them, my Pains started to appear again.

The second half of 2013 proved to be a Very Bad time for me, as far as my Health is concerned. I started getting Severe pains within 500 metres of walking. I had pains in the Inside of my left upper arm, the left wrist and at the base of two fingers in the same hand; as well as pain in the chest and at the base of my throat. That is what I have described in the section above.

I would say that I have had pains of this severity some 60 to a 100 times! If this sounds surprising, Please bear with me in this and carry on reading. This issue will come up again.

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This February, (2014), I decided to have a ‘Heart Check up.’ I took my old reports, and went to ‘Heart City,’ a heart specialty hospital in Trichy, (aka Tiruchirappally, situated in Tamil Nadu). There, the good doctor told me that:

I COULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK ANY DAY.

I asked him if I could not be cured by having higher doses of some medicines, etc. He said that Medicines could Only do ‘that’ much, and that ‘Mechanical’ means would have to be resorted to. He advised me an Immediate Angiogram.

I learnt that this would cost some 20,000 rupees. But the problem was, am sure they would have said next that I needed ‘Angioplasty,’ which, they inform me, would cost a goodly rs. 2,00,000. Which kind of money I do not have. Nor do I intend to ask anybody for it, Nor Accept it for this purpose, even if it were offered.

I decided to Carry On as I had been doing.

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My ‘Courage,’ if We are going to call it that, and my Attitude to Life, To Carry On, Never Surrender, got formed by the following:

• St. Paul speaks of his sufferings in detail in 2 Corinthians 11:23-29. While doing this, He keeps calls himself a Fool and a Weak man. And he names this recounting of his sufferings as ‘boasting,’ in a Sarcastic sense. Paul was a Great Man, a Very Great Man. Long ago I Realized that he shared all this to let us know that, If He, a Human being, could go through all this, So Could We!
• I Distinctly remember reading, many years ago, in the Reader’s Digest, that a man, living by himself quite far from other habitations, had a Heart Attack. He started Walking to the nearby town, which in fact was quite a distance away. When he reached the hospital, they found that he had suffered Multiple Heart Attacks on the Way.
• I learnt that Surgeons Train themselves to ‘Ignore Fatigue’ while carrying out Long Operations. 

And thence I thought: If ‘they’ can do it, Why Can’t I?

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I am continuing with my Allopathy and now, and some Homeopathy medicines, under advise of my latter doctor. I am happy to say that my pains are greatly reduced now, rising to no more than 3 on my scale! At times I do feel breathless; and my heart labouring away, though!

I have mentioned that my severe pains would abate after reaching the spot (the bus stand), and after sitting down (as in the bus). After repeated experiences of this sort, have decided that my Arteries are ‘Opening Up’ by those walks and activities, and that once they have done that, the problem, at least for that day, goes away. I have come to believe Very much in this (my Theory of ‘Arteries Opening Up!) now. And it is Working for me, anyway!

So, When my pains start, I tell myself: ‘Okay, the Arteries are Opening Up,’ and carry on. It just becomes a question of bearing some pain for some time.

By the way, I learnt that ‘Reducing my Speed of Walk’ Lowered the amount of Pain. (All these are purely Empirical things. So You cannot go, ‘Medically,’ on my sharings! But I do hope and pray that these are of some Use to You).

So I do not bother about those pains, palpitations or breathlessness. This comes from my Many, Many, Many experiences with the pains; what I did at time, which was: Kept On going, and the End result, namely, the Cessation of my pain.

Two days ago, I had to go to the shops about 400 metres away, for a bit of purchase. Within 200 metres of walking, my Pains started! The level, happily, was a low 2. The pains lasted all the 400 metres. But once I reached the shop, more importantly, once I stopped walking, the pains went away, and did not return.

It All comes down to this: With Regard to our Many Activities, and our Condition, in my case, my Heart Problem,

WE DO IT BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE DONE!

AND WE KEEP ON DOING IT BECAUSE THE WORK IS NOT OVER YET! 

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At the Cost of Boring You, allow me to repeat that I learnt this Mindset from Others who have/had gone this way before me. So the Credit should go to them. And LOTS of Credit to those Unsung Heroes and particularly Heroines, as the one below, who Keep on Keeping On.

To say a few more words on Women like these, many men in India (as I am sure in Other countries, as well), become a Burden instead of Supporting their families. The Women take up the Challenge, and Make Life Go On, Never Surrendering!

Please believe me when I say that I have come across whole villages of men in Chhota Nagpur, as well as here in Thanneerpalli, my current village, – who are addicted to Drinking and Gambling, which latter is more common here in the South.

I Dedicate this my post to these Brave Women. And I wish You all Happy Times.

Photo credit: As in image.

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PS: Wanted this to appear on WordPress’ ‘Weekly Challenge’ spot. But many things confuse me. I am not even able to decipher: ‘Comments are always closed on prompts. Pingbacks are enabled; if you link to the prompt post on your blog, your post will appear in the list below the prompt.’

What prompts? Where is the Prompt post on my blog? Etc! 😦

Though 66 in life, am just Two Months old in WordPress. Would be Grateful if some of You would enlighten me in these things. Thanks in Advance!